Anniversary celebration for Uncle Bob and Aunt Rose
As to why they’re still married, God only knows!
After decades of bickering, they are feeling the strain
Each one knows the other is their ball and chain!
They’re renewing their vows when they should say goodbye
Both are hard-headed. Don’t see eye to eye. (Sigh)
The romance, they hope, the event will restore
But Bob showed up late, so my sweet Aunt Rose SWORE!
It’s no high-class affair. Guests forced to use sporks
And the syrupy wine has screw tops, not corks
Uncle Bob doesn’t mind as long as it pours
He’ll soon drink enough to be down on all fours!
The guest list is made up of who NOT to invite
To ensure there’s no yelling, and there’ll be no fistfight
But there’s music for dancing, with song after song
Heavy metal accordion band, SO ROCK ON!
My uncle and aunt have been battling for years
Rose always gets mad when Bob knocks back some beers
A relationship blunder. A mistake. A big goof
HOSTAGES trapped underneath the same roof!
Rose has a quick temper. Bob makes her feel cross
She lays down the law because she is THE BOSS!
My aunt will throw plates. She has a good arm
If Bob ends up schnockered, it could cause him harm!
But Uncle is stubborn. He LOVES “Happy Hour.”
He’s the life of the party with each whiskey sour
Aunt Rose does not like it when he ends up gassed
It drives her so crazy – his butt she lambasts!
His binge drinking turns Bob into an old flirt
With booze on his brain, he will chase any skirt
Though not a great catch at his age, and his weight
If Rose had her way, poor Bob, she’d CAS-TRATE!
* AND NOW THE BIG MOMENT *
The minister speaks, and ceremony begins
He’s willing to forgive all their marital sins
Aunt Rose is as ready as she’ll ever be
But all of that liquor means Bob has to pee!
Their marriage has lasted, but no one knows why
It’s “till death do us part”, but Bob just won’t die
His liver is pickled, but he keeps on drinking
Bloodshot eyes blinking, with wine glasses clinking
People start clapping. They begin to throw rice
Bob and Rose renewed vows. Made the same mistake twice
Their marriage of convenience might get a bad rap
But nobody else will put up with their crap!
POETRY AT PLAY 