The world can be gross! On that much we agree
There’s pooping and puking, and don’t forget pee!
The sights and the smells can be dreadful it’s true
Let’s take a quick peek at what makes us boohoo!
What’s the stuff growing in between all of your toes?
It’s green and it’s fuzzy. WOW! God only knows!
Sit down at the table and clean out that gunk
Chunk after chunk, but don’t leave a big hunk!
Cat heaves up a furball. A surprise in the night
It’s warm, and it’s squishy! Gives you such a fright!
Kitty makes puddle! A slick, sticky shock!
Missing the litter box. Grab a mop as you squawk!
Hemorrhoid pain! BUTT! people just chuckle
It burns when you strain. Bear down and white knuckle
Nose hairs too long, it looks like a mustache
Inflammation in groin! It’s a prickly heat rash!
Can’t find a bathroom. You are starting to fret
Your bladder is active! Break out in cold sweat
A toilet you seek, but your timing is bleak!
NO!!!
You’re moist and you’re damp because you’ve sprung a LEAK!
Body odor! Stink! Go grab a quick shower
Start soaping and scraping. You may have to scour!
Or rub-a-dub-dub. You can soak in a tub
Don’t miss a square inch. Every part you must scrub!
Water retention! Bloating makes you feel puffy
More than just fluffy, you’re huffy and stuffy!
You feel a big bulge. Your waistline is tight.
Afraid you’ll explode! In fact, you just might!
Constipation relief! You let out a long giggle
Now toilet won’t flush! The handle you jiggle
So where is the plunger? The panic grows fast
Everyone in the house is about to be gassed!
* FAST CADENCE *
Kidney stones, bladder stones, gallstones, groans and moans
Feeling high and feeling low, full-blown hormones
Naval lint, lice in hair. People stop to point and stare
They can gawk. You don’t scare. Shed your clothes and then go bare!
* EVEN FASTER *
Dripping, oozing, squirting, seeping
It’s enough to leave you weeping
Belching, burping, if you’re daring
Icky stuff that leaves you swearing!
* WHOA! HIT THE BRAKES *
Find a hair in your food, and it’s NOT from YOUR head
Green penicillin! There is mold on the bread!
Throat full of phlegm. Throw your head back and spit
Gaze into the mirror while you pop a big zit!
When you track fresh dog poop all through the house
No doubt you’re going to have one cranky spouse!
Your pup drops a dog log on carpet, OH YUK!
It’s a warm steaming pile that you will have to pluck!
Your insides are bubbling. You fear a disaster
Take off and start running. Go faster and faster!
Sprinting to bathroom to find a locked door
When suddenly you fart!
BUT IT’S SOMETHING MUCH MORE!
POETRY AT PLAY 